Photo-a-day: July 13th, 2013
July 13, 2013 § 1 Comment
The day in 9th grade when Balthazar Getty became my mortal enemy.
July 13, 2013 § Leave a comment
The first day of grad nine, in my social studies class, we did a get to know one another exercise. We were partnered up and had to find out three facts about the other person which we would later read aloud to the class. What perfect, exquisite torture. This was a special kind of horrible for me as it was my first day at that school. I don’t remember who I was paired with, but this encounter with her was probably why she never tried to hang out with me afterwards.
One of the facts she told me about herself was that she liked Balthazar Getty. I, being the 14 year old lesbo-incognito, had no fucking idea what that was. She said the name to my uncomprehending face a few times, seeking and not finding any recognition or agreement in my expression. But this was not the worst of my problems. Thanks to my Hooked on Phonics method of reading-to-pronunciation, I could not work out how to say Balthazar. I parroted back her pronunciation.
“Bat-la-zar?”
“Bal-tha-zar.”
“Bath-la-zar?”
“BAL-THA-ZAR!”
It was hopeless. She turned away from me with an annoyed huff. By not intrinsically understanding all the depths of beauty that lay in that revered name, I had unintentionally insulting both him and her. I kept saying the name under my breath as I waited my turn to speak. When I stood to speak, the base animalistic fear of dozens of eyes focused on me blotted out any memory I had. I lifted the paper I’d written the three answers on and spoke to it rather than the faces around me. I left Balthazar for last, perhaps hoping my memory would eventually return, but no luck. I had been speaking in one rushed exhaled breath and by the time I got to the end, all I had oxygen to say was “Bath-Bath-Bath….”
The Beatles – I Me Mine
July 13, 2013 § Leave a comment
I love how disjointed & fractured & melancholic this video is, like they’re chronicling something that’s already a memory.
Photo-a-day – July 12th, 2013 – Bumblebee!
July 12, 2013 § 1 Comment
Faith is nothin…
July 11, 2013 § Leave a comment
Faith is nothing more than a watered-down attempt to accept someone else’s insight as your own. Belief is the psychic equivalent of an article of second-hand clothing, worn out and passed down.
July 10, 2013 § Leave a comment
“Mania was a mental state every bit as dangerous as depression. At first, however, it felt like a rush of euphoria. You were completely captivating, completely charming; everybody loved you. You took ridiculous physical risks, jumping out of a third-floor dorm room into a snowbank, for instance. It made you spend your year’s fellowship money in five days. It was like having a wild party in your head, a party at which you were the drunken host who refused to let anyone leave, who grabbed people by the collar and said, “Come on. One more!” When those people inevitably did vanish, you went out and found others, anyone and anything to keep the party going. You couldn’t stop talking. Everything you said was brilliant. You just had the best idea. Let’s drive down to New York! Tonight! Let’s climb on top of List and watch the sunrise! Leonard got people to do these things. He led them on incredible escapades. But at some point things began to turn. His mind felt as if it was fizzing over. Words became other words inside his head, like patterns in a kaleidoscope. He kept making puns. No one understood what he was talking about. He became angry, irritable. Now, when he looked at people, who’d been laughing at his jokes an hour earlier, he saw that they were worried, concerned for him. And so he ran off into the night, or day, or night, and found other people to be with, so that the mad party might continue…”
In The Marriage Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides describes the manic phase of bipolar disorder better than I have every read or heard it described.
Young Hearts Crying by Richard Yates
July 10, 2013 § Leave a comment
Young Hearts Crying feels like one of those stories about children growing up. The stories usually begin with a cast of characters in elementary school and we watch them grow and change through high school, college and into adulthood. This story portrays our cast beginning in college, in their early 20s, and as they grow into middle-age, we see how each character chooses to change and evolve. The times change around them; some adjust, some resist. Success and failures in relationships, career, and personal health plague each character, each react by either accepting their limitations, challenging themselves to grow, or stagnating.
Stagnation is one of the most crippling fears that grip us as we age. Every character in the novel possesses a varying level of creativity: some are geniuses blessed with talent and success; some are clever minds who spark soon and fizzle, never able to grab hold of what…
View original post 289 more words
Photo-a-day – July 9th, 2013
July 9, 2013 § 1 Comment
Today I got SO MANY Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume books for our nieces.
Suicide Blondisms 